Car Talk: An Ode to Dads, Brothers, and Good Friends' Husbands

It had been seven years since she rolled off the lot,

shiny and new, with love she was bought.

Seattle to Phoenix and all in between,

Mexico, Kansas, and Colorado she'd seen.

A few came before her, less shiny or new

each well-taken care of by "Dad" - Woo Hoo!

"Gwendolyn the Golden Girl" was the name she was given,

fast and furious was the way she was driven.

A ding here, a dent there - who cares she'd had fun!

She felt invincible - forever she'd run!

Alas! Disaster struck when it least was expected

perhaps she'd have been better had she not been neglected.

It's true - there were times when she had needed some care

but unaware went her owner, without that "Dad" there.

"Dad" had been great, he'd kept all their cars right

but explain he did not, and so on came her "check engine" light.

Day by day and bit by bit

lots of things started breaking, and a mirror - it just split.

Away from the door on the driver's side,

The plastic had warped and shook on each ride.

So to save money and time some epoxy was sent

into the gap and worked like cement.

Oh Joy! What luck! That mirror- it was stuck!

As was the window - quite tight (What the Fuck!).

Add that to the list of woes Goldie had,

at that last crappy mechanic - her owner was Mad!

But out of the desert came a hero, a friend!

It was Ike to the rescue - a hand he did lend.

He picked and he prodded, listened and thought,

and helped diagnose the diseases she'd caught.

He told her owner what needed to be done

what to say to the mechanic who'd messed up a ton.

And guess what else that awesome Ike did?

He fixed that glued window - he did! Yes he did!

So into the night that little car sprang,

with a spring in her step - and nary a clang.

She ran through a drive-thru, her window rolled down

not having to open her door like a clown.

So thanks my dear friend for lending your hubby,

to fix my little car, and in the midst get quite grubby!

Cheap Dates - Part 2

I have a confession to make.

I talk a big game about our culture's unhealthy reliance on "things" and "stuff." But when I set out to live cheap last month, I was secretly thinking "yeah, like I'm really going to SHOWER for this." But now, as I sit here in my room, overwhelmed by all the amazing community-building, inexpensive opportunities for fun and fiber, I am taunted by Lazlo The Chihuahua who has positioned himself ever-so-subtly next to a plaque reading: "It's Not Shopping, It's Retail Therapy." Even my dog thinks I'm a fraud.

While he may be partially right, that I may still love the "cha-ching" of New Shoes Being Purchased, today I am proud to announce that I am now 100%, no-holds-barred, hook, line and sinker, fully bought into the movement I'm fond of calling The Great Cheap Date.

To be part of The Great Cheap Date, one must be willing to put in just a few extra minutes online or lingering at the coffee shop bulletin board to find that awesome out of the way happy hour, a free independent film screening or bingo tournament that isn't necessarily advertised in old town Scottsdale.

And I'm not the only one pushing for this kind of life. Every magazine I open these days has a list of things to do with little or no cash. And since I've become interested (read:obsessed) with living cheap, I've been inundated with ideas and articles thoughtfully clipped out and mailed to me from all parts of the country. Thanks mom, for Woman's Day Magazine, June 2, 2009 Issue, Page 78.

Keep in mind that a Great Cheap Date doesn't have to be of the romantic kind (although lets be real, aren't those the best kind?) but can be with a friend, family member, professional network or even alone. Sometimes what a soul needs most is a little Me Time. And since it is a blistering 111 degrees today, stay in and feed the need.

First off - a few online fun sites along the lines of "time-wasters-I-would-never-consider-doing-on-the-clock-if-I-actually-had-a-job" type: Hunch.com, the site that helps you make the real important decisions in life, Benign Objects and Design Delights when you feel like swooning over something other than Colin Farrell, and Not Your Grandmother's Crossword Puzzles. There's CheapHealthyGood written by the very funny and very hungry Kristen Swenssen and a new favorite of mine Lords and Ladies of Leisure - which touches the soft spot I have in my heart for the unemployed.

And how about learning a new skill? Split the cost of Lynda.com with a friend and you may both master Photoshop, Dreamweaver, or even Microsoft Word! The best software tutorial I've ever seen. What about mastering the Art of the Mixtape? Remember those? When just the right mix of songs could tell that hot professor why you - a design major - did so well in his Calculous class or when you found out your best friend's boyfriend was a cheating sleaze and needed Carrie Underwood, Hinder, and Brandy and Monica to tell the story? The perfect mix is important, and done right might just score you some home-baked brownies, or at least some brownie points.

And when the inevitable happens as it often does - Twitter gets too many tweets, Facebook times out, no one has emailed you in at least an hour and your laptop battery bleats out its last charge - THROW A PARTY! Not a lavish affair, but a rocking, fun, casual get together. Think board games and BYOB, a Wii Tennis tournament and night swimming. Give it a theme - Margaritas and Mustaches, Christmas in July, 80's night, 60's night - anything to get people to connect and laugh and take the edge off our money woes for awhile. Better yet - host a Swap Party and you may find yourself a new pair of shoes cute enough that you don't even miss the "cha-ching."

Viva La Revolución

"You're not going to have a revolution if most people feel they're making out pretty well." [Quinn, My Ishmael, 1997]

Last week, I suggested that being forced to give up some luxuries may actually make us happier, healthier (and dare I say...well-adjusted and popular) people. Up til now, though the economy was based on projection - not reality - it worked out reasonably well for most of us. Now the tide has changed, the revolution of healthy frugality has begun, and we are able to demand more of ourselves and world - and find ways to enjoy life and connect with one another in places not punctuated by money and possessions.

Yesterday, I visited Liberty Market in Gilbert - home of a $2 plate of the best roasted sweet potato and curry salad this side of my kitchen. The relaxed, urban atmosphere of the market, restaurant, and bar (JP should add this place to her list of "slashy" local businesses) boasts of delicious eats - most of which are under $8 - and a healthy selection of espresso beverages and a beer and wine list that could reek of pretentiousness but surprisingly does not.

It is places like this and events like CreateLive AZ (hosted here - sorry I missed it!) that exemplify the connection we are hungering for. Inexpensive, unique experiences that feed our stomachs and souls -

Thankfully, if you are willing to look, these opportunities do exist in our community and are growing daily: From Twitter @PhoenixNewTimes: What Laura Says (local band featured on NPR last year!) And Free Ice Cream At Heard Museum Friday. See? Art, Music, and Food - what more do you need?

Along with AZ Central and The New Times, there are lots of great sites featuring free and inexpensive events. A few standouts I found:

- Free Breakfast Weekend at Ikea July 18, 19. Swedish pancakes, anyone?

- A personal favorite from my go-to expert on good music, EastonAshe performs Friday at O'Donoghue's Irish Pub in honor of St. Practice Day: a not-so-dry run of the pub's St. Paddy's festivities.

- Check out the Michael Easterday Band at San Tan Flat, where the opportunity to roast marshmallows under the stars is almost worth the drive itself. Almost.

- For celebrity sightings, Trader Vic's in Scottsdale is celebrating their anniversary this month - and guess what? It's free to get in.

- July has a jazz jamboree, and a cribbage tournament and way too many other options to mention here. Just mouse-around: maybe you'll find a new favorite cheap and easy Bingo-and-Open Mic-and-Wine Tasting- Night Hike. Or something.

The Roommate and I recently investigated the how-to's of The Culture Pass, the Piper Trust's gift of art and culture to Valley residents. A fact I didn't know: picking up one pass at the library does not grant access to all participating venues for two weeks. Instead, after visiting two separate area libraries we were able to scrape the bottom of the barrel (which turned out not to be the bottom after all!) for a one-time use pass to Mesa Contemporary Arts. We also learned of the venues offering discounts at various times throughout the summer without a pass. All frustrations with the lack of selection at our chosen libraries aside - we had lots of fun!

A few other of my favorite cheap dates include seeing not-yet-on-dvd movies at the Tempe Cinemas, First Friday Art Walk in Phoenix, Fourth Friday Art Walk in Mesa and taking the light rail to meet friends for one of the many happy hours and freebies featured here, here, and here.

Use your imagination, and let the revolution begin.

P.S. For my non-AZ readers: I encourage you to seek out your community's own free gifts. Try local and alternative newspapers... and know that you might have to go outside your city limits for an adventure; take Sedalia, Missouri and the Wheel Inn, home of the $3.50 Guberburger meal for example (Thanks Adam - I'll never forget my first Guberburger).

Cheap and Proud of It

Just what will the impact of The Recession on our generation be? Experts predict an end to our financial woes sometime this year. This is good news right? This means job security, the stabilization of the housing market, lower gas prices, and no more stay-at-home-vacations! I for one cannot wait for the day when I don't pray that my card won't be declined every time I hand it over to a waiter who knows without asking that "no, I won't be ordering dessert tonight."

We all hate sacrifice. And why shouldn't we? Sacrifice and compromise are things that the majority of our baby boomer parents have made sure we haven't had to consider. We're the tee-ball generation where everybody wins, enough is never enough, and keeping up with the Jones'? Please! They keep up with us!

And yet...I have more than one friend who swoons over Dennis Haysbert in recent AllState commercials when he intones what we have learned this year - namely, (to paraphrase) meatloaf and Jenga can be as good as steak and a set of box seats. Target follows suit with their Brand New Day spot where consumers happily replace their cars with bicycles, their gym memberships with exercise balls, and hold off on family room remodels, opting instead for backyard tents. Likewise, anyone who has been to Starbucks recently will confirm: lines are longer than ever. Interestingly, sales are down. Why? The $4 iced latte has become a $2 iced coffee with milk. I was in Kansas City recently and couldn't help but notice in the bathroom of an old roommate who, although he makes plenty of money, has switched from salon shampoo to a drugstore brand. Hmmm. Wonder if he notices a difference.

So what will happen on this vague day in the future when the cloud of corporate corruption finally lifts, earned raises actually get given, and expendable income begins to live up to its name again? Maybe our newfound frugality will ebb like the intense patriotism that was prevalent in the days following September 11, 2001. Maybe we'll all reinstate our standing appointments at the nail salons, trade in our sensible vehicles for the newest hybrid hummers, and once again congregate with our fabulous friends in rooftop bars sipping $12 cocktails.

Maybe. Or maybe not. I've found that I actually LIKE iced coffee with milk, that my nails don't actually look that bad when I do them myself, and as for the rooftop bar? My friends tend to rave for days about the fun we have when we stay in for "bring your own beer" game nights. Is it possible that the recession might actually be (godforbid) good for the health of our generation, and not just our pocketbooks?

"Your Ad Here" ... and Here ... and Here ... and Here." Driving through Missouri last week, I was accosted with blank billboard after blank billboard advertising... well, advertising. Clearly marketing dollars are being spent elsewhere. Bad for the the billboard business, but good for... the view? Instead of reading about casino buffets and new checking options, I got to concentrate on conversation with my traveling companion and the gorgeous green rolling hills around us. It got me thinking - could this recession actually weed out industries that clutter our landscape and pollute our senses? What would our country (and world) look like if we put more emphasis on "I got it at a thrift shop!" than "He went to Jared." Some places, like Kansas City International Airport are embracing a culture of cheap. Could we come out of this economic landslide and actually live better, fuller, more meaningful lives? Is it possible? Is it likely? Lets say Yes - and make it happen.