If you want to get Bit in the Arse, go into Business with your Friends

Last week, President Obama graced Arizona with his presence at ASU's commencement ceremony.  With around 60,000 of my closest friends, I made the trek from the 'burbs  by way of the new light rail and a whole lot of walking in the blistering hot sun. Like the others, I was excited to hear what the President would have to say to my beloved Alma Mater who stiffed him an honorary degree and whose class of 2009 is facing the toughest job market in memory. His speech writers didn't disappoint. He was funny and poignant, irreverent and inspiring.  He challenged the graduates to seek after different riches than those that contributed to the collapse of Wall Street. He urged them to take different risks - ones that would ultimately make the world better - and he acknowledged that they might fail, and fail again; but to take heart because their body of work is yet to be finished...

...And thank God for that! On Saturday, I was fired for the second time in a month. I wish I was kidding.  I really do.  Here's the story: In light of my joblessness, mortgage, and the fact that I allow my nearest and dearest to hang out pool side whenever they feel like it, a friend who owns his own business offered me the opportunity to do a little online SEO work for some extra cash. Gladly, I accepted and managed to impress in a relatively short amount of time.  A few weeks into our arrangement, I made an unrelated joke about this person that after making it's way through the gossip tree that our friends operate not unlike the childhood game of Telephone - I was informed that my "services would no longer be needed."  All I could think was, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! 

Awesome. The Universe - 2, Me - 0. 

I would love to expound on how completely silly and petty and pathetic this situation is and how my joke was not in QUITE the bad taste it was made out to be, but I'm still experiencing enough shock and disbelief that I don't even have the energy for it. "With friends like these, who needs..." you know the rest. 

In all seriousness, I recognize that there are lessons to be learned here as well - don't joke about your boss, don't joke about your boss to the Town Crier, if you do joke about your boss, address the situation with him right away, etc.  But not the least of these lessons is this: Do Not Go Into Business With Your Friends. That is a hard one for me - as some of the most intelligent, creative and talented people I know are my friends.  Money may not actually be the root of all evil, but when one friend has it to lord over another, bad things are bound to happen.  In spite of the fact that I am down another paycheck, thoroughly saddened that I hurt my friend, and - yet again - am sufficiently humbled, I am actually a bit glad that this happened at this exact time (okay, I know that you know I'm lying through my teeth - but I'm trying to see the silver lining here people!) because as I flesh out the new business ideas I have floating through my head, it is very tempting to call upon my friends to be part of them.  

Maybe this is one of the risks President Obama was speaking of when he addressed Sun Devil Stadium last week, or maybe it wasn't. Either way, I plan to tuck this little gem away and remember my ill-fated and short lived career working for a friend, and stay determined to make the hard choices next time.  The businesses and nonprofit organizations I plan to launch as part of my body of work may force me to work harder and longer without the help of my besties, but maybe they will also force me to tap into the wealth of knowledge being held by strangers and neighbors who are looking to find their dreams in the Arizona desert as well.  Only time will tell.

The Truth Hurts?

I’ve heard it’s better not to tell future employers the truth about losing your job. My friend JP is a fan of the phrase “Management and I had an irresolvable difference of opinion regarding a company policy.” Others prefer the innocuous term “Laid off” and at least one person has told me to leave the last eighteen months off my resume completely. As if it didn’t exist. As if all the things I accomplished and learned just never happened. 

But it did exist, and I produced some truly wonderful work while at this agency. I also made some mistakes.  I’m not denying that.

There were four significant days that contributed to my painfully quick slide to demise. Let’s revisit: Day 1 – arrived for a meeting in Tempe that turned out to be in Paradise Valley. 45 minutes later I finally made it – late of course, but in good spirits, as were everyone else. Day 2 – got stuck in traffic on Interstate 60. That’s Phoenix commuting for you, and I did get there, just a bit late. Day 3 - simply did not book enough time between meetings to get from one to the other without being…you guessed it, late again. Day 4 - was so ready to prove myself that I had the meeting room set up fifteen minutes ahead and I sat by the office door waiting to greet the client and walk him to the conference room myself. 20 minutes later, I was informed that said client had entered the backdoor, found his own way to the conference room and the meeting had begun without me. My spirit crushed, I walked into the conference room and was for the last time – late.  That’s it, game over, thanks for playing.

While I try to make up for my shortcomings with wit and charm, intelligence and style, I do know that I had something to learn from this experience. And what did I learn? 1 – NEVER assume you know where a meeting is being held. 2 – Listen to NPR in order to hear traffic reports instead of rocking out to a CD the cute guy in PR gave you. 3 – Remember that the first of two meetings will always run long. And 4 – Pace a path between every possible door that a client could walk through. Better yet – put a tracking device on his Blackberry and lock the conference room door with the only key glued to your hand.

Brazen Careerist author Penelope Trunk opines that being fired is a time learn what you want in a job, and to articulate those things to a future employer. Right. And this would be me:

“Hello Mrs./Mr. Potential Employer. My ideal position would be one where I could be creative and strategic, where I could try out new ideas and work on alternate forms of revenue generating. Where I could make a difference in the world, and where I would never have to be on time for anything.” 

JP thinks this means I should go into business for myself. I would like to agree, but unless I plan to never work with or around any other human again, ever – I’m afraid I’m my options are limited. Being fired for this was awful. It was unnecessary and unhelpful, ridiculous and disheartening. Being early all the time is a pain, feels rigid and not even very possible. It sucks, but I’m going to do it. I have to – if only to be happy healthy well-adjusted and popular.  What do you think, friends?